After more or less intensive bugfixing IDEtalk 0.5.1 has been released. Comparing with 0.5 it has only one new feature - it allows to send code pointers and see file diffs even if local and remote project names differ. So your peer doesn't have to have the same .ipr file as you, only relative path for the file matters.
In the future version (1.0?) I plan to allow sending code pointers between Java classes from libraries, so requirement to have same relative path for the file will be eliminated.
0.5.1 is available via plugin manager on on the site.